Monday, February 16, 2009

Hey Big Spender

I had a mall life once.

I once worked at the Gap. Don’t tell anyone. I folded jeans so the denim would “pop,” and danced with oversized cutouts of Gap gift cards in the entrance of the store while wearing the newest Gap fleece pajamas. The dancing was not required but somehow made me feel less ridiculous. Before that I sold shoes and religiously wore khaki pants and a denim shirt. I never actually met Jon from the Mall of America store, but developed quite the phone friendship as I called him ten times a day to check for sizes. Before that I sold coffee across from the McDonalds and next to the Applebee’s where I bought my cigarettes to smoke on my breaks. I wore (and still have) an apron that says, “thanks a latte.” After the Gap I worked at Express. I wore a headset so I could always stay in contact with people whom I didn’t know by name. And I suppose it went with my outfit or something. They made me take my nose ring out though.

At least I can say I was in high school and worked so that I could buy concert tickets mostly. I later got to meet Jon at a Phish show at the Target Center. He recognized my voice while standing in a line behind me. Although, I’m fairly certain I asked for a soda or something and not the latest Dr. Martins in a UK 6. Small world.

Shopping malls. I hate them. I generally compare them to an enclosed state fair situation. My grandfather refers to the state fair as “the gathering of the unwashed.” I see the similarity. Where else can one see a mass of overfed, over indulged, and frivolous Americans fighting over benches to relax on while drinking their $6 espressos after a long hard day of shopping? At least shopping can be an excellent spectator sport. Honestly, the people watching is phenomenal..and depressing. Other than providing for the concert fund, the mall has done one other thing for me. It provided me with some of the best creative writing based upon people watching. Although that also warranted an investigation by mall security as some mall goers apparently thought my people watching and notebook scribbling was creepy. Wtf.

It’s mostly because of my past mall employee life that I truly despise the mall. People become robot like, including the employees. Fake. Tired. Running on caffeine and commission. Speaking of commission, have you ever tried to play the Buckle game? I highly suggest it. Here’s how you play: you enter the Buckle store and try to make it from the front of the store to the back of the store and back before being verbally captured by an employee. God’s speed. People, bittered by making no money (only be to spent at Arby’s for lunch) by selling Hawaiian print shirts to other people, whom treat them as if they really are put here to serve, find the right size, always answer “it looks good” when “on no one” should be injected at the end of that statement, whose feet hurt but still manage to smile because their 15 is in 10, pretending to like their bubbly fucking manager whom may really actually care about what today’s numbers are, is kind of an ugly thing. But what’s uglier are those people walking around with their dozen or so plastic shopping bags, a frozen yogurt, a French tip manicure, a Bluetooth headset, three small and unappreciative of Macy’s president’s sale children all wearing the latest Ugg boots and $100 pre-ripped jeans, and a credit card bill that can NEVER be paid off while alive. How can this truly be someone’s favorite pastime? Play the Buckle game.

It’s true, shopping does something to people. It can be compulsive, a quick pleasure. It covers things up, makes us feel better for the moment. But it doesn’t solve the problem. It’s glamorous, but so was Blanche DuBois in dim light. Consumer binge. It’s the American way. How many fat jokes alone are in there? We live the way we want to live no matter the cost. Bush even gave me $600 to go shopping (I think he called it economic stimulus) so I could think of life in the terms of free money and cool stuff instead of my thinking damn, I’m so glad I can pay my rent with this because I’m a fucking broke ass teacher and student who has to pay their rent with it because the economy is shit and I’m still a teacher that might lose their job and student that obviously has all her tuition money. Oh and you’re right, I did forget about my brother who’s still in Iraq. Asshole.

I think Romero has it right: “When there’s no more room in hell the dead will walk the earth.” We will occupy the malls and feed on each other. I think we already do that. Look around the next time you’re at the mall. Zombies, even with all that Caribou..zombies spending money they can’t possibly even have and that’s not because they’re zombies. It briefly reminds me of what I saw the morning of Black Friday. First of all, this as an American “holiday”….do we not see how messed up this is people? After a day of gorging ourselves and half passed out on the couch flipping between the damn parade and the game, we get up at 3 to make it to the mall (to beat the crowd?) early to buy some shit!!! Oh my god. Anyhow, I swore I would never do this, but I participated in the Black Friday game this year just to see what it was like. I didn’t see anyone get trampled (damn) but seriously….people die on this holiday because they’ve been trampled to death!!! What fucking toy is that important? Should you kill or die for your children? Yes. BUT NOT THIS WAY! Oh my god. Now normally I love people watching, but there was not enough coffee in the world to justify getting up that early to watch a bunch of people literally push and shove, be extremely rude to, threaten, and steal from other people. For what? This year’s version of Molest Me Elmo? I’m so embarrassed.

The Citypages, as always, has won me over. It’s completely interesting to see that a person can hold a week long MOA experiment on consumerism at its worst. And the “heat” in the MOA is provided by all the shoppers? Gross. Yes, your cozy cruising temp is brought to you via the greenhouse effect + 100,000 people whom may or may not have purchased (and then hopefully used) some deodorant in the day’s money purge? Gross. To think that people travel across the world to “experience” the MOA, see the largest mall, ride a rollercoaster indoors, and eat some cheese curds is a little baffling to me. Way to trump your 10,000 lakes Minnesota. And when your sanest moment is talking to a Hooters girl about her double tour in Iraq while she plays eye candy for a bunch of fools is paired with meeting foreign kiosk workers that work their asses off for only a couple of months selling T-Shirts that say idiotic things to idiots whom think they’re funny..only to go back to their countries and be set for life….holy shit. Again, I’m totally embarrassed.

What does this say about Americans as people? I don’t even want to talk about it. It makes the foreign stereotype of Americans so real, and think of how badly we stereotype foreigners. Shopping malls are America’s Mecca. It’s disgusting how consumerist behavior defines us and our shopping malls enshrine our behavior. There you have it all: the imagery, the advertisement, the merchandise, the deportment. The American way. We want it all. Think of what this says to our children. What an example to set. Check out this SNL video that explains our lifestyle perfectly:



We want our children to be critical, independent thinkers right? How the hell can we expect that in a capitalist society where society determines how we should spend our money and what on? Where such a thing defines who we are as people… For a larger portion of our young people, this is their identity. How do we get young people to THINK more about their own experiences with shopping and shopping malls? To examine their own consumption practices and so on? Great questions. I will be teaching 10th grade literature soon and the first text I am having them read is M.T. Anderson’s Feed. Read it. Brief synopsis: “The story depicts a future in which the Internet has evolved into the "Feednet"; a computer network to which the brains of American citizens are directly connected by means of an implanted computer chip called a "Feed", which over 70% of Americans have set in their brain. Privacy has become a thing of the past; Corporations are free to monitor and manipulate citizens' thoughts, people's thoughts are interrupted by the mental equivalent of pop-up ads, sometimes to a debilitating degree, and the government can even subpoena one's memories. People can "M-Chat" each other (a form of evolved Instant Messaging) on closed channels, effectively creating a form of telepathy. In addition, the Feed chip is implanted at such an early age that it actually takes over the running of many brain functions as the child matures.” The following video depicts what it would be like with a feed:



This is what we have done to our children.

An activity I have planned during the reading this text briefly goes something like this: I will have my students think about what they know about consumerism. Do they make their own choices as a consumer? What are their personal consumer habits? What are their consumer norms? What do they like, why do they like it? What do they spend money on and why? What has influenced their decisions? They will write about this then they will get into small groups and look through popular magazines. Each group will find one picture or advertisement that helps define consumer “norms.” They are to formulate as a group for larger group presentations/discussions why they choose what they chose, how were those norms similar/different to their personal findings, do they have a “type,” what ads were they drawn to and why? Consumer culture is extremely powerful, I want them to explore why and whose interests are served by media representations? How does media or popular culture personally influence them? What does this say about and how does this define American culture?

It’ll be very interesting to see what 10th graders have to say about all of this. Hopefully none of them work at the mall.

Sunday, February 8, 2009

This Is Why I'm Hot

I was sitting in a coffee shop today next to this über nerdy boy (he was reading a textbook entitled Dynamics…nerd). I’m sure he’s very nice though…glasses and all. He was wearing a T-shirt I found myself craning to try and see as it said, “This is why I’m hot.” I was vaguely reminded of this cartoon:



Anyhow, above the text was a picture of the flower power from Mario Brothers..you know the pixilated flower that allows Mario to throw fireballs at those turkeys wearing a shell. They are turkeys aren’t they?

I used to have a coworker that wore another Nintendo T-shirt that pictured the game console and controllers with the text “I’m classically trained.” I think it’s totally amazing how much video games have infiltrated pop culture while simultaneously defining a generation.

I grew up with Nintendo, and had a classic Nintendo and a Super Nintendo. I remember playing all kinds of games with the neighbor boy for a while, but after that, I kind of grew out of it and lost interest. He however, still plays video games to the best of my knowledge. Most of the men and boys I know do, whereas very few of my female friends play video games. What is it about boys and video games?

While I agree with Jane Pinkard that men dominate the gaming industry, I don’t really agree that the games are suffering because of it. Yes, yes I know that the most popular games are probably geared towards men the women in them look totally ridiculous (which is attractive to men or something), and because you shoot things (guns) at things (people) and blow things up (usually more people). But all of that seems kind of sexist to me. I know there are some women out there that get a kick out of stuff like that, or are completely unaffected by it and only care about the gaming aspect. I would say that the gaming industry is actually changing so that it is geared towards more women. Now again, it’s totally sexist with the pink DS systems and Barbie, fashion show, own your own pony, cooking, etc. games. However, it’s a start.

The video game world is revolutionizing in the sense that it’s really becoming another social network for people with it’s online capabilities, multiple player options, more epic adventures and video game literature (that one may have hurt a little). Gaming is trying to touch a broader spectrum of people with things like brain fitness, and weight loss “games” too.

While I think that sitting on the couch perfecting one’s ass print in the cushions and gaming all day is a royal waste of time most of the time..I also think there is some merit in it. Now I say that because gaming simply isn’t for me. Believe me, I’ve tried, but it’s just not my thing. Just like everything else, gaming calls for certain participants and is just not for everybody. The good I see is that there must be some critical thinking going on. Video games are complex, as Gee says, and certain skills are required to excel at them (not to mention a lot of fucking determination and patience..I never saved the Princess..not once). We also try and teach/facilitate such concepts in schools. Perhaps if a kid is not diggin’ it in school, they might find it within a video game. Believe you me, it pains me to say that, but it’s absolutely true. I think there is something to be said for Gardner and his theory of multiple intelligences.

Speaking of intelligences…I never got into The Sims, I didn’t really get it; understand what the hell was going on, nonetheless the point. However, these virtual realities are sweeping the world via the Internet. I know very little about them, but I do know they help formulate (much like other interactive, and networking type games) identity, relationships, networks, friendships, socialization, and personal connections for lots and lots of people. Take the gaming part out and you pretty much have the point of going to school, less the math and all that crap.

This is what Wikipedia (a very reliable source) has to say about Second Life. It’s “A free client program called the Second Life Viewer enables its users, called Residents, to interact with each other through avatars. Residents can explore, meet other residents, socialize, participate in individual and group activities, and create and trade virtual property and services with one another, or travel throughout the world, which residents refer to as the grid. Second Life caters for users aged over eighteen, while its sister site Teen Second Life is restricted to users aged between thirteen and eighteen.” Did you catch that part…”Residents can explore, meet other residents, socialize, participate in individual and group activities, and create and trade virtual property and services with one another, or travel throughout the world….” Seems like a pretty nerdy but somewhat reasonable way to partially develop necessary skills for real life. Second Life also allows it’s residents to build virtual objects with a 3-D modeling tool. I’d be terrible at it, but you know, that’s pretty cool.

I know there are quite a few universities (ivy league included) that use such avatars for educational purposes. There..I know you’re sold now…Harvard uses one. But think about it..virtual classrooms..distance education..this is what we have become and this is our future. Above all I think this type of technology taps into what I believe is the primary goal of education, to enable students to think critically about the world around them. The following excerpt is from a nerdy blog I follow, “Critical thinking is one of those difficult points that we often desire to instill in students of all ages, but I hear it frequently mentioned at the university level. Think of what reflective, critical learning can be done in the area of business, ethics, epistemology, law, etc. in a world in which the "residents" are from many cultures throughout the world. It is a fertile ground for questioning one's point of view - and that of society.”

Think about it, and game on I say (you nerd).

Sunday, February 1, 2009

We Don't Need No Thought Control

I’m sure I’m going to be the only one who says this so here goes, deep breath: I’m a fan of music. Me gusta musica. I dig music man. All of it. Most people would insert “except country” somewhere in there too, but God help me I’d be a liar if I said so. Now don’t get me wrong, I also enjoy a good country music diss every now and then..you know…my girl left me, I ran over my own dog with my truck, but it’s okay because I’ve got my cheap beer and this here guitar..kind of jokes. However, when I hear country music, it above all things takes me back to when I was a summer camp counselor at a horseback riding camp in good ole Browerville, Minnesota.

It reminds me of when I would get up at 5am, put on a pair of really dirty boot cut jeans, my favorite pair of boots, shove a bat in my back pocket, toss lead ropes around my neck and round up 200 horses as fast as I could to make it back to the bunkhouse for an ice shower before just as many campers woke up to John Denver’s Thank God I’m a Country Boy (every fucking morning). I loved it. I still love country music. Maybe that’s because there’s a little bit of country in me, but also because it reminds me of good times with good people.

Funny thing about music.

Something similar but uniquely different happens to me when I hear an incredible orchestral piece or cello solo. I began to play the cello at age 5. I still play, and have played everything from Mozart to Metallica. I have been a member of an orchestra with incredibly talented musicians. The acoustics in Carnegie Hall cannot be described, only felt, and experienced. I’m an orch-dork and proud.

My father was a Deadhead and so fortunately, I was raised on phenomenal music. Thanks Dad. Rock and Roll, folk music, bluegrass… I own tie-dye, hemp, Birkenstocks, Dick’s Picks and Betty’s Boards. I like disc golf although I’m terrible. There were burn holes in my first car. I appreciate the irony of my youth pastor humming A Friend of the Devil, and always smile when I see the Begonia plant my father gave my mother…although they are not scarlet. I remember I took a job at the Gap (oh my God I know) just so I could scalp tickets to see Ratdog, and used to float down the Apple River in Wisconsin every summer and see Phil Lesh and Friends. My love for Reggae can also be found here…My cat’s name is Marley.

When I became an angstful teenager (I’m no longer a teenager but I’m still full of angst) I felt right at home with what they called at the time alternative rock, punk, garage, or even grunge. I was pissed off, hated everyone and sought refuge with others that felt the same way.

The blues…the blues and good ole classic rock specifically do something ridiculous to me. That music makes me want to sing, sing like a big black lady lives inside me and pretend I’m good enough at playing my guitar to fake the chord progressions in the air. Robert Johnson, Bessie Smith, Muddy Waters, Johnny Lee Hooker, B.B. King, SRV…there are so many. The way a slide sounds on steel strings, the way your whole body feels like an amp, the Hammond..you didn’t even notice you were tapping your feet and fingers did you? Many a night I have found myself at the Cabooze or Famous Dave’s in uptown for unbeatable live music. The crowd it draws is really something else to watch and be apart of. Oh, and only Jimi Hendrix should be allowed to play the Star Spangled Banner.

I'm the only white girl in a gospel choir and I used to nerdily sing in an a capella group. My first major as an undergrad was musical theatre..that’s right…show tunes folks. Last week I was at a hip-hop and spoken word show. Incredible. It’s just incredible. Heads bobbing, fists pounding the air.. I just can't get enough..little Depeche Mode joke for ya there.

There are so many genres now and so many fans. Funny thing about popular culture, always changing and whatnot. Redefining itself. Music has always provided me with anything I felt I was missing, anything else I wanted, needed more of, answers.. A place to hide, come together, comfort, understanding, friends. Music is just as social as it is personal, just as political as anti-establishment (which I think is still political). My taste in music hasn’t changed; it’s become more eclectic. Music has truly affected me as a person: who my friends were, the color of my hair, the style of my clothing, where I spent my time, what I read, how I spent my money, etc. Music has truly shaped the world in which I live. I think at least in part this is true for most people. There is always something music has to offer everyone, and there is always a way to relate. I need music to survive Gloria Gaynor style.

With each genre of music I have gotten into I have made new friends and traveled to new places; I have seen and done new and different things. When I look back and try to figure out where in the Breakfast club I would fit, I can’t find my place. I was a hippie (some of you may say stoner), I was a punk, I wore a cowboy hat, I made piccolo jokes, I play the air guitar to Freebird… Music is why I make “jokes” about if I don’t make it in the teaching profession I’m going to try out for American Idol. Music is the only thing that can define me on a daily basis when I know nothing else about myself. I think anyone can relate to this.

It’s because of this relationship, both personal and public, that I think music belongs in the classroom. There is no better way to look at the social and political unrest of the 60’s than to look at Dylan’s The Times They Are a Changin’, or CSNY’s Ohio. What does music say about education or lack thereof? Beauty School Dropout anyone? Oh like you don’t know what I’m talking about.. Alice Cooper’s Schools Out (think Dazed and Confused), Smokin’ in the Boys’ Room by Motley Crew, Floyd’s Another Brick in the Wall, Don’t Stand so Close to Me by the Police…think about what songs like this say about future success, citizenship, student-teacher relationships, bad teachers, rules and discipline, and the overall boring nature of school. And these are just a few songs about school..think of all the other songs out there that address so many other issues. It’s just like another piece of text but with so much more to it. The possibilities are really endless when music is integrated into education…and that little emo kid in the back of the room won’t think you’re so terrible anymore. Unless you sing or something. Don't sing.